Happy Valentines  / Traci Barnai (mommy 2 vanessa )

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Happy Valentines Day  / Traci Barnai (Mommy 2Vanessa )

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You're doing great things...  / Dawn Schutt (AJ's mommy )

Shawnie ...you're doing amazing things with Jesse's site.  You are touching people who truly need a friend and someone to share their hurt.  We're part of an amazing club...one that no one longs to be a part of.  Thank you for turning a horrible circumstance into good.  I will ALWAYS be here for you...our bond runs deep.  AJ and Jesse will always be  a part of our lives...their stories will live on and lives are being touched because of them!

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Happy Early Halloween  / Traci Barnai (mommy 2 vanessa )

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Just 4 You  / Traci Barnai (mommy 2 vanessa )

I made this special teddy bear 2 fly on up 2 u
2 give u hugs and kisses if ur ever feelin blue
2always know how much ur missed
and if I could reach u'd get a big kiss

Love Traci,mommy 2 vanessa

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Happy Birthday (sorry it's late)  / Traci Barnai (mommy 2 vanessa )

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A Good Day  / Jen Lampen (Friend)
Glad to hear you all had a nice day.  We were thinking and praying for you guys all day long! 

We love you all!

Jen Close

What a great birthday...wish you were here to share!  / Mommy
Today actually turned out to be a good day.  It was a day I have been dreading, but we had an awesome time celebrating Jesse's birthday and we just remembered you and talked about you all day. We started out going to the Chicago Kids Theatre at the Beverly Arts Center in Chicago to see a presentation of The Little Mermaid.  We were in an auditorium filled with little kids...little miracles.  Olivia had a wonderful time and her smile just lit up the room...Jesse you would have loved the play!  On our way home we stopped by the balloon shop and let Olivia pick out 3 balloons - Orange, Green and Brown - but daddy said Brown wasn't a good color so she traded the Brown for blue.  Then daddy picked out a monster truck Happy Birthday balloon.  We bought a little baseball bat and ball and Olivia picked out a HUGE mermaid and Disney princess balloon.  We went to Memory Lane where we wrote "Happy Birthday - We love you" on all the balloons and Olivia wrote all over the orange one "Happy Birthday", "Jesse", "Olivia" drew a snake, a circle and many other things.  We sang happy birthday, kissed our balloons and let them go...all the balloons stayed together until we couldn't see them anymore.  The Monster truck balloon was tied to a windmill that was stuck next to the marker and we placed the baseball bat, ball and three little monster trucks there.  We talked a little and then left.  We went to Crown Point and walked around a bit before going to McDonalds for lunch.  After that we came back home so Olivia could take a nap.  For dinner we went back to Crown Point to a place called the Naughty Grapes...it was a house where all the rooms were still seperated, but contained several different tables throughout.  We sat in the "kitchen" of the house and a man came and played the piano.  Olivia danced like a ballerina princess.  We came home after dinner and our neighbors were all throwing a party.  We had birthday cake and all our neighbors pitched in together and bought us two things for our "Jesse Garden".  We have a Rose of Sharon, two butterfly bushes and another plant that some of my MOPS friends bought us that will all be planted tomorrow right outside my kitchen window.  All in all it was a good day.  I loved spending the entire day honoring my son.  He was the focus of EVERYTHING we did today.  I haven't had a day like this in a long time.  My heart ached for Jesse and I would have loved to spend the day with him, but he was still with me and we had a special day JUST for him.  I hope you liked your special day Jesse.  We love you and miss you so very much.  We can't wait for the day when we get to be with you, but for now I'll always carry you around in my heart.  I love you so much.

Love mamma. Close

Happy Birthday  / Mommy

Tomorrow's your birthday, you'll be turning one!  I should be decorating the house for you tonight...instead I decorated your website.  I should be baking a cake for you...instead I will imagine you eating angel food cake at the feet of Jesus.  I should be getting ready to sing "Happy Birthday" to you...instead I will imagine God's choir of angels singing.  
Jesse, my heart aches for you so badly.  I wish you were here so we could celebrate one year of being with you...but those things aren't up to us.  I just want you to be home with us so badly, but you're already home and just waiting for us to join you.  

Please dear God...take care of my baby.  Throw him a wonderful first birthday like him mommy and daddy would have done.  Decorate his room for him for when he wakes up.  Hold him on Your lap and tell him how proud you are of him and how we love him so very much.  Please take care of my baby.  Give us all strength to make it through the day and to face the second year without our beloved son.

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Glory Baby song lyrics by Watermark  / Mommy
Glory baby you slipped away as fast as we could say baby…baby..
You were growing, what happened dear?
You disappeared on us baby…baby..
Heaven will hold you before we do
Heaven will keep you safe until we’re home with you…
Until we’re home with you…

Miss you everyday
Miss you in every way
But we know there’s a
day when we will hold you
We will hold you
You’ll kiss our tears away
When we’re home to stay
Can’t wait for the day when we will see you
We will see you
But baby let sweet Jesus hold you
‘till mom and dad can hold you…
You’ll just have heaven before we do
You’ll just have heaven before we do

Sweet little babies, it’s hard to
understand it ‘cause we’re hurting
We are hurting
But there is healing
And we know we’re stronger people through the growing
And in knowing-
That all things work together for our good
And God works His purposes just like He said He would…
Just like He said He would…

BRIDGE:
I can’t imagine heaven’s lullabies
and what they must sound like
But I will rest in knowing, heaven is your home
And it’s all you’ll ever know…all you’ll ever know…

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I am missing you so much!  / Mommy

Jesse - this is the first time that I have sat down to write to you in length.  You were with us for such a short time.  I carried you in my womb for 30 weeks and 5 days and it has been 30 weeks and 6 days since I said good-bye.  It seems like you were with us for a short time, but it seems like you have been away from us for such a long time.
I miss you so much.  My heart aches for you.  My arms ache to hold you one more time.  My body aches to feel you move one more time.  My ears ache to hear your sweet little voice.  My nose aches to smell your wonderful scent again.  I just ache all over for you - my precious baby boy.
It's seems so unfair that God had to take you from us so soon.  I know that God has a bigger plan for us.  I know God allowed you to be in our life for a purpose and when that was accomplished he took you back home to be with him.  I am so thankful that God allowed you to be a part of our life.  I am thankful that he allowed you to grow in my body.  I am thankful that I got to feel you kick and move in my body.  I am thankful that I got to hear your heartbeat and see you move in the comfort of my body.  I am so thankful that my body was able to nurish and comfort you until you grew your wings.  If I had to do it all over again, I would.  I would live all those days over again just to feel you move one more time - I'd do it all again - even if I knew the outcome would be the same - I'd still do it again.  I would have enjoyed the time I spent with you more though.  I would have cherished every kick and every tumble you made inside my body.  I would have read more to you and I would have stayed awake at night to sing to you.
As a mother I want to teach my Children about God.  I pray that one day my children will grow up to know God and will accept Him into their life so that they will go on to live in eternity with God.  I think that is my number one goal as a mother....I accomplished that with you.  You went long before your time, but I believe you are in heaven with Jesus and that one day our family will be complete again.  I like to imagine you playing on the streets of gold with all your little angel friends.  I know that you feel no pain and that they beauty you see every day is beyond my imagination.  I truly can't comprehend how amazing heaven is, but I know it became a little better the day you grew your wings. 
I can't wait to get to heaven and hear your voice for the first time.  I long to hear you cry out "mommy" and to give me a hug and kiss.  I know I would have been a good mommy to you, but I know you are being cared for by our heavenly Father whose love is far greater than the love that a mother has for her child.  I can't wait to be in heaven with you and to understand why you had to leave us so soon.
Please ask God to continue to wrap His loving arms around us and give us strength and provide us with comfort.  Ask God to bless us with more healthy children that can stay with us on earth for a long long long long time!
I love you so much and I miss you.
mommy

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Your kindness has touched my heart  / Angie Means (An Angel Mom Friend )
Shawnie,

I need to thank you for the wonderful words and kidness that you expressed in a tribute on my son Jace's page.  Going through the pain of losing a child is beyond what any words can describe, as you know too well.  I used to say that if anything ever happened to one of my children, I could not go.  You might as well bury me with them.  The reality is so much worse, because it would make things easier to give up.  We can't.  We have other children, husbands, family that need us.  But I can say that the bond (not by choice) that I feel with you and other mothers who have expressed their heart-felt sympathy is amazing.  We belong to a "club" where the dues were too high and we never asked to join.  It is because of your kind words that I feel this bond.  Thank you!  The similarities in our stories make you ask "why?"  which is a question I have tried so desparately not to ask in the past five months.  I think asking that question would eat away at my being, because there are no eartly answers.  I have come to believe the scripture quotation:  God is close to the broken hearted".  Sometimes it doesn't feel like enough, however, as I want to just go and curl up beside God and have him hold me like a little child and wipe away my tears.  So in the mean time, we need to rely on each other to wipe away the tears, be there for each other, and most of all, remember our precious little children.  Although I never met your wonderful Jesse, I mourn for your loss with you and pray that you find peace within this storm.  

Thank you, once again, for reaching out your hand and for your support.

Love,
Angie Means
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Thinking of You  / Shannon Troncoso (visitor)

Losing a child is the most horrific pain imaginable, I hope time is being gentle to you and your beautiful family. You have made a beautiful place in which to honor and visit your precious son. I hope he is playing and keeping my little Luca company, heaven must be the most lovely place- since it is where our angels run and play. Just wanted to say I'm thinking of you, may you always feel your precious son Jesse and God's love. 
Shannon

http://luca-troncoso.memory-of.com

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Beautiful Jesse  / Becky (another mother of an angel )

What a beautiful memorial you have for Jesse.  Thank you for stopping by to see my blog.  I have no doubt that our boys are playing in heaven together, so peacefully.  I wish you all peace and comfort through your grief.

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My deepest condolences  / Mary (Another Mommy to an Angel )
I just wanted to tell you I know how deeply you hurt. We lost our angel Sara Faith on April 1st 2006. Part of your timeline inspired me to write this. Our baby was only 22 weeks when we lost her but she came down the birth canal in the perfect birth position, after my doctor had warned us that she probably wouldn't because she was so small. But when she was born perfectly I told myself she used her last little bit of strength to make things as easy on her mommy as possible.

My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family. Our babies are playing in a garden some day we will be lucky enough to visit. Close

My short little life  / Mommy
Here's a letter "from Jesse" that we got on Christmas......

Merry Christmas family and friends,
It all began around January 1, 2006.
My mommy and daddy found out on Sunday January 22, 2006 that I was alive in my mommy’s tummy – they were so happy. By the end of January my little heart had already started beating, but no one could even see it or hear it yet – I was only about 1/12 inch long – that’s only about the size of a pencil point!
Mommy had her first doctor’s appointment on Tuesday February 14, 2006 – Valentine’s Day, with Dr. McMahon at Crown Point OB/GYN. Mommy and daddy found out that I was due on September 28, 2006.
Around the middle of February my little hands and feet started to develop. And then a couple weeks later my eyes started forming – they started out as small indentations, but rapidly formed into eyes. I was only about 1/2 inch long.
On March 15, 2006 my mommy had her first appointment with Sheryl Behnke, her midwife. My little heartbeat could not be heard on the fetal Doppler, but I could be seen on ultrasound floating around in my mommy’s tummy – it was peaceful in there. Around this same time all my internal organs were formed. It wasn’t too long after that I started forming eyelids, a nose and lips that could open and close.
On Tuesday, April 11, 2006 my mommy had another appointment with her midwife – this time my mommy, daddy and big sister Olivia got to hear my heart beat for the first time – my big sister thought it was amazing!
During the next month – my fourth month of life – I grew to be about 5 inches long and weighed about 4 ounces, but I moved around enough that my mommy was starting to feel me move, but she wasn’t too sure.
By the fifth month my mommy could definitely feel me moving around – I was floating and tumbling around. I was also starting to hear sounds – I could hear the constant sound of my mommy’s heartbeat and it was such a comforting sound to me. Towards the end of the month I think I heard my mommy’s voice, but it wasn’t real clear. By the end of the month I had grown to be about 7inches long and weighed about 10 to 12 ounces.
On Friday, May 12, 2006 my mommy had an ultrasound – my mommy, daddy and big sister got to see little me. I looked like a healthy little baby – my heartbeat was strong and all my organs had formed properly. The ultrasound technician said I was a girl, but my mommy knew differently – she just had a feeling!
During my sixth month of life I could finally hear noises outside my mommy’s body – I heard my big sister talking all the time and I heard my daddy talking a lot and I also heard all my family when they were around. By the end of this month I was about 10 inches long and weighed about 1 1/2 pounds.
By the seventh month I was starting to get a little cramped in my mommy’s tummy and I spent most of the time all curled up, but it was still nice and cozy in my mommy’s tummy – I felt so warm and comfortable in there.
On July 3, 2006 my mommy had another appointment with her midwife – everything was still wonderful. My mommy, daddy and big sister got to hear my heartbeat again – they didn’t know this would be the last time though.
Although I moved around a lot, it wasn’t until the middle of July before my daddy got to feel me moving inside my mommy’s tummy – this usually occurred at night, just when my mommy was laying down to go to bed – I loved to move around at bedtime. My daddy really felt me moving during the early morning hours on Friday July 21, 2006 – but this was the last time. Mommy felt me move a few more times on Friday, but that was also the day I got my wings and was called to heaven with Jesus.
Oh, please don’t be sad though – it is incredible up here! I will never know what it is like to live on earth, but this is the most beautiful place I could ever imagine. I got to sit at the feet of Jesus and hear some really cool stories…stories of little kids just like me. Jesus is so wonderful and he loves me so much just like you do. Everything is so peaceful up here and cozy just like my mommy’s tummy was. I have met a lot of people here who are really familiar. The first few people I met said to call them, big grandpa, grandma and grandpa Rees, a wonderful lady who just said to call her nana and the most beautiful little girl whose name is Victoria, she said we were cousins! I have met a lot of other people here who have names you would also recognize but it would take me forever to go through all of them – just know that they are all taking very good care of me.
My first few months here I got to do so much stuff. Daddy, I have gone fishin’, played football, soccer and baseball and have even watched a little NASCAR! I like to do these things with a really cool boy who came here about a week after me – his name is AJ and we are best friends. Mommy, you would love this place – it is beautiful. You wouldn’t believe the flowers that bloom here all the time. Olivia, I got to go to a house today and eat all the cookies and ice cream that I wanted – isn’t that cool?
To the rest of my family, I wish I would have gotten the chance to know you all a little better, but Jesus said that would happen one day when the timing was just right – he’s just not finished with you all yet. See, when I first got to heaven Jesus told me a little secret…now I know why I came to live with him and someday when I see you He’s gonna let me tell you the secret too, but for now, just know that Jesus has it all planned out – and it is the coolest plan!
I wanted to take a few minutes to tell you thank-you for the wonderful life I had in my mommy’s tummy. Even though I never got to meet any of my family face to face – I still know all of you. I listened to your voices whenever you were near and I felt the warm hands that pressed against my mommy’s tummy – even Olivia’s feet sometimes. Thank you for being there for my mommy and daddy when they found out the news that I had gone to heaven and thanks for supporting them since then. Thanks to those of you who held my little body in the hospital, even though I had already gone, I felt all the love you had for me and I want you to know that I too love you. Thanks to everyone who came to say their final good byes to me at the place where my body was laid to rest – thank you daddy for “tucking” me in.
About a month ago I met another child who just got here, and guess what? We have the same last name! We look a lot alike, but I’m just a little bigger. Don’t worry mommy and daddy, I will take good care of this little angel.
The last few weeks here have been amazing – Jesus’ birthday is coming up and you wouldn’t believe the birthday bash that we are preparing. The lights here are amazing, but even better than that is the angels singing all the wonderful Christmas carols – you wouldn’t believe the sound of the music up here and all the choirs. We have been baking lots of little treats – mommy, I even got to decorate some like you and Olivia did – they are really pretty.
Some of my angel friends are yelling for me – it looks like we are getting ready to play a football game – don’t worry mommy, it doesn’t hurt up here in heaven!
I love you all so much and miss you too.
See you soon.
Love,

Jesse Rees Barnett
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Jesse's Website  / Annetta Richards (memaw's friend )
Shawnie and Brian,

Your website for Jesse is so beautiful.  I am so glad that I visited again today. I have read all the poems and listened to the song with tears in my eyes.  It is so encouraging to know that Jesse is being cared for by our wonderful Lord and Saviour and that someday you both can be with him again.  I sing You Are My Sunshine To All my grandkids too.  Know that I think of your family often and pray that God will continue to hold you in his everlasting arms.

God Bless You,

Annetta Close

Your Angel Baby  / Anne Basso (Another Mommy to an angel )
Nearly two years away from the silent birth of my own precious daughter, I have finally come to a place where I can think of her without pain.  And, yet, there is something universal in the experience, and reading yours took me right back.

I try and remember that grief is okay.  Jesus himself wept at the grave of Lazerus, even though he was about to raise him from the dead.  And in Jesus is our greatest joy, that one day we will be with our precious little ones again.

I like to think that there's a beautiful garden in heaven, and that my Sarah is there.  Over the past 2 years I've found that she is joined there by too many wonderful children.  And I look forward to meeting them too, when the time comes.  When we will greet eachother as brother in sister in heaven.

My prayers are with you.  Thank you for sharing your beautiful baby with us. Close

So sorry for your loss  / Michelle (Passerby)
I just happened on Jesse's site and wanted to express my sincere condolences.  This site is a beautiful tribute to your son and the pictures you have shared are amazing.

May God look down on you all with love.
I am also sorry to hear of your recent loss; I too suffered a blighted ovum this year and the loss has been tough.  I will keep you and your family in my prayers. Close

Hello again  / Fatima Mazboudi (none)
I also have a son who will be 2 in november. I thought that was sweet when i saw your little girl. They are around the same age also. bye
Fatima Close